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Finding God in the Story of Your Life

Breadwinner wives

About a year ago, Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg published what would quickly become a bestselling book, Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead.

She encouraged women to “lean in” to their careers, rather than holding back. To take their place at the table. About that same time, several studies announced that about 40 percent of wives in the U.S. out-earned their husbands, and that because so many households were headed by single moms, women were often the primary breadwinners. Being a wife who earns more than her husband, I had a vested interest in the story. I was very curious about how other women felt about this role, especially if, like me, they’d been raised in a conservative environment that preached that a man’s job was to provide for his wife and children.

At the time, I wrote this article about it, and I’d love to hear what you think. Are you “leaning in” to your career? Are you the primary breadwinner in your family, and how do you  feel about it? 

Here’s the article:

 

Women Breadwinners: A Holy Calling?

Alison Strobel Morrow works three jobs. She’s a full-time middle school language arts teacher, she writes women’s fiction, and she runs a home-based health and wellness product business.

Her husband is a part-time church newsletter editor and primary caregiver for their two children, ages 4 and 7, whom he home-schools. He handles most of the housework, although Alison pitches in occasionally.

Alison is just one of many women who are the primary breadwinners for their families. Each family has a unique story, yet is part of a larger trend: a steadily growing number of women who out-earn their husbands.

“For the most part, I’m okay with my role,” she says. While her close friends understand, she admits, “I get a lot of weird looks from people when I first explain our situation, but I’m over caring whether or not people approve. I’m immensely relieved to have a job and insurance at all.”

40 Percent and Growing

Some 40 percent of wives now earn more than their husbands, a trend which challenges the traditions of American society and has stirred debate and commentary about its sociological implications (with publication of books such as Hanna Rosin’s The End of Men: And the Rise of Women, and Liza Mundy’s The Richer Sex: How the New Majority of Female Breadwinners Is Transforming Sex, Love and Family). Because of the growing number of women earning advanced degrees and ascending the corporate ladder, that percentage is growing.

A small (but growing) fraction of those wives are solo breadwinners while their husbands stay home with the children. Many more are part of couples in which both spouses work—but she earns more. Some observers predict what Mundy calls “the big flip”—the coming day where the majority of women will earn more than men.

For Christian families in this situation (and there are many), the changes can be unsettling—especially if they are a part of a conservative faith tradition that taught them it is “biblical” for a man to go out to work and a woman to stay home.

Some Christian husbands who want (or need) their wives to contribute to the household income by working may feel conflicted when their wives advance in their careers. Others are quite content to earn less, especially if this allows them to be closer to their children because they’ve become the primary caregivers and household managers. Their supporting roles often help their wives thrive in their careers.

Changing Roles

When Cathy and Dave Breslow had their kids 18 and 16 years ago, they were “adamant” that one parent would be home with them. Cathy had assumed it would be her, but her job as a software engineer for Safeway Foods had benefits, a retirement package, and a good salary. Dave’s work as an insurance salesman had no benefits and paid straight commission.

Read the rest of the article on TodaysChristianWoman.com 

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