Living with
teenagers is like sailing a small ship on a
rolling ocean. You have to constantly adjust
to keep your balance. It’s full of
surprises: like last week, when my daughter
asked if I’d take her and her brother
downtown to spend the day: to go out to
breakfast, explore Millennium Park. She
wanted to shoot some photos. I enticed my
son along with a promise to visit the Art
Institute. I cancelled other plans to adjust
to this favorable wind.
We live about 40
minutes outside the city. We started with
breakfast at the Bongo Room, a little South
Loop place that has a line out the door for
breakfast on the weekends. Pumpkin pancakes,
an incredible breakfast burrito—really great
food. It was a gorgeous, sunny day, nearly
70 degrees (absolutely a rarity in November
here in Chicago). Because it was Veterans
Day, the traffic going into the city was
light. The conversation on the way down was
light and playful. It was already a good
day.
As we were parking
the car, we noticed smoke (it was actually
steam) coming from under the hood of the
car. I looked at my temperature gauge and
noticed it was all the way up to H for hot!
I parked the car, turned it off, and decided
to let it cool down while we ate our
breakfast and considered our options. I
called my dad, he suggested checking to see
if the radiator had enough water.
After breakfast, we
stopped at a grocery store and bought a few
gallon bottles of water, refilled the
radiator, and drove north. We got about four
blocks and the car started overheating
again.
We pulled into a
parking lot, where a nice man tried to help,
and suggested loosening the radiator cap to
let the steam escape (once the car had
cooled down). We saw a small crack in the
radiator, steam curling gently from it.
I won’t bore you
with all the mechanical details, but at that
moment, I had a decision to make. I could
worry, or I could decide to trust. I could
choose worry, or I could choose peace. At
first, I wondered aloud if we should head
home, and my kids loudly protested. So I
decided they were not only right, but the
voice of God in my life at that moment, and
I was not going to let this wreck our day. I
decided to obey Jesus’ command to not worry.
Not with a blind optimism, but with a quiet
trust. We were okay, and would continue to
be okay. I chose to believe that and live in
it.
I’m a AAA member, so
I knew that I could get the car towed to a
mechanic nearby, and take the train back to
the suburbs, if I needed to. I could load up
the trunk with bottled water and try the
man’s suggestion about driving the car home
with the radiator cap loosened. I wasn’t
sure at first which was plan A, and which
was plan B. But I knew I had options.
But at the moment, I
decided that we would just enjoy the city.
Rather than let a little car trouble ruin a
great day, we decided to go to the park, and
then the museum. I didn’t want to let worry
steal my joy at just being with my kids for
a few hours.
Christian faith
seeks to obey Jesus’ command: “Do not worry
about your life…” (Matthew 6:25) Jesus calls
us to trust him, and to let go of having to
control the outcome of every situation. When
we do that, we will have joy, even in
challenging circumstances. To do so requires
a certain emotional detachment, a conscious
letting go of needing to control the outcome
of every situation.
Trust is a choice,
the alternative to worry. People may even
think we are crazy or irresponsible, when
really, we are simply turning over our
lives, one moment at a time, to God’s
excellent and dependable provision. Trust is
a spiritual practice.
Unlike other
practices like prayer, study, solitude and
so forth, the practice of trust is not
something we can schedule. We kind of have
to wait for situations that would cause us
to worry or fear, and in the midst of that
situation, choose to believe that we are
safe in the arms of God. We have to sail
along and wait for a rogue wave or a sudden
wind shift, and trust we will not capsize.
Do you believe God
is good, when he hands you a mixed bag of a
day: sunny and gorgeous in November, time
with people you love, but a major car
problem stirred in?
I asked for God’s
help in trusting the car issues would
resolve as needed, and we set off, leaving
the car parked in a lot. I was keenly aware
that my decision not to worry was a gift of
grace, a gently bestowed favor that came
from beyond myself.
Millennium Park was
gorgeous and full of people, and my daughter
shot a whole roll of film. The kids got
along with each other and with me. My son my
son wanted to visit the Modern Wing at the
Art Institute, and to see if they had any
sculptures by Alberto Giacometti, the artist
he’d been studying in his art class
recently. He was thrilled to find several
Giacometti pieces in the Art Institute’s
collection, and tried to get my daughter and
I to appreciate the other works in the
modern wing, like a huge canvas painted
black. “Isn’t this amazing?” We pointed out
it was a big black square. “Look at the
texture!” he cried. The whole day felt like
a gift.
After several phone
calls to my dad and AAA, we decided to try
loosening the radiator cap and driving the
car, closely monitoring the temperature
gauge. We stocked up with more water, and
drove straight to our mechanic (who is
located near us in the suburbs). My husband
met us there to drive us home. (Thank God
for cell phones!)
You may wonder why I
called my dad first and not my husband. I
love him dearly, but I knew talking to my
husband would not help me in my quest to
trust and not worry. And it would not help
him to avoid worry. Also, my dad owned the
car before we did so he knew what work had
been done on it in the years prior. (i.e. he
told me not to let the mechanic replace the
thermostat as it had just been replaced).
When life throws us
challenging circumstances, we have a choice
to make: will we worry or trust? Will we
believe God is in control or expect the
worst? This is the only place we have the
opportunity to engage in the practice of
trust—in the trenches of difficult
circumstances. And if we are parents, the
choice carries more weight. My choosing (and
it was a conscious choice, akin to choosing
to go to the gym or pass on dessert) to be
positive and to enjoy our day offered an
example to my children about what it means
to let your faith shine through your
attitude. For their part, they believe that
they convinced me to stay in the city for a
few hours instead of heading home right
away—and I’ll admit they strongly influenced
that decision. I learn a lot from them. In
fact, I think God spoke to me through them
(a trick He’s been pulling since they
learned to speak).
Together, we decided
to focus on this truth: we were never in
danger, we had options about how to deal
with the car. We were all okay, together. I
kept telling myself that. But part of what
enabled me to stay calm and focused was the
fact that I knew I needed to model faith and
fearlessness to my kids.
Sometime in the
future, they may find themselves having car
trouble, or some other challenge, and they
will have to decide how to handle it. I hope
they will remember this day, and our
decision to trust (and all the other times
we have decided to trust). I hope they
remember how we experienced God’s generous
provision: not just in that we made it home
safely, but that he enabled us to be free
from worry and fear.
Book Review
Ruthless Trust
by Brennan Manning
HarperCollins
Retail Price: $13.99
Amazon Price: $10.07
This is a classic, by
the author of The Ragamuffin Gospel. Trust
is a choice, Manning writes, that we must
make even when things are difficult. He
argues that trust springs from gratitude,
not just for the good things, but for all
things. Trust in God, no matter the
circumstance we find ourselves in, will
transform our lives.
Manning argues for
outrageous grace, which can be fully
trusted. “The
foremost quality of a trusting disciple is
gratefulness Gratitude arises from the lived
perception, evaluation and acceptance of all
of life as grace—as an undeserved and
unearned gift from the Father’s hand,” he
writes.
That grace is made all
the more precious because it is bestowed by
a God who is powerful beyond measure.
Manning explores the ancient Hebrew word
kabod (the glory and power of God) and
reminds us that this same God who offers us
grace is powerful and terrifying in many
ways. God is at once fully present
(immanent) and yet, far beyond our
comprehension (transcendent).
He writes: “Immanence
is not the opposite of transcendence, but
its correlative, immanence and transcendence
are two sides of the same coin, two facets
of the same divine reality.”
Manning is deep, yet
real: unafraid to tell stories of his own
struggles (he’s a recovered alcoholic). He
looks fearlessly at the fact that we are all
“ragamuffins” and cannot earn God’s favor,
yet we trust in it.
Quotable
A good word to
memorize
May the God of
hope fill you with all joy and peace as you
trust in him, so that you may overflow with
hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13
The LORD is my
strength and my shield;
my heart
trusts in him, and he helps me.
Psalm 28:7
Deeper
Connection
A question for
reflection or discussion
What, specifically, do
you worry about it? Jesus told us directly
“do not worry”—have you ever thought about
worry being a sin? What steps could you take
to engage in the spiritual practice of
trust?
